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Friday, July 22, 2011

Today…

WARNING:  This is my blog, I got the right to rant.. if you don’t like it, don’t bother reading.. and if you want to read, read and keep it to yourself.. I don’t need any mediator for this case.. AWARE, RANTING POST AHEAD!!

Despite I have lots of backdated posts to do, I think all of these fun posts can wait… Today, I have really seen what kind of people I am living in with. 

Being a single mother has never been easy, especially in my family.  I can say till today, no one can really accept the fact on this matter, and each person is trying their very best to ‘stab’ me at the back given any chance.  Well, we are ‘maintaining’ the peace for the show.  I am waiting for my day to arrive and I can leave the peace out of it.

So, what make me write such a post? 

Today, I actually had an order to fulfill, and prior to this, I have been preparing all the necessary after work.  At the very early morning, I faced with yet again a crying baby who does not want anybody except myself.  (at any point I am at home, I can be really cling to death)  She will start to have her cry and scream, asking for her fix and also to be carried, when I am so so ‘kanchiong’ to complete the cake on time.  I really at my wits end in dealing with her, and to the max that I myself started to throw my temper too!  I usually will let her cry till she had enough but too bad today it went on and on and on with NO STOP!

Well, despite the 2 brothers at home, she will not want to be ‘entertain’ by them.. so, back to the root, I still have to entertained this girl of mine while I continue to do whatever I can.

Of course, in some kind of work, we tend to have some ‘demand’ from us to the helper, and today, she is so much taking her own sweet time to handwash clothes when I am busy!!  In addition, I have told her that she don’t need to cook for afternoon, with the consideration that she will need to help me with some washing.  Up to 3pm, I have not eaten, and I just told her to 'steam’ some pau for me.  Oh yet, I caught her saying that I am inconsiderate that she is a human, and she has not eaten!!!  My goodness, then what about me?  I gave her a good piece of my mind (despite I am so much younger) and told her to consider if she want to continue working! This kind of big order, only comes in once a month, and yet she got so much to complain when she had a weekend off (soon will not be coz she agreed to care for my brother’s daughter for weekend with additional salary of course!!) and a so much higher salary comparing to her peers! KNS!! 

So, with all the rushing to complete all the necessary, I know my youngest brother has got school, and I was actually trying to finish the order before he leaves, and I can use his car… Very unfortunate, this time, it can’t be done on time!  I saw my brother drove out and I text my customer to have the delivery later, since I know my brother only had a short class today.

Later, after waiting for his return and don’t seems to see him returning, I asked my eldest brother since he is at home caring for the daughter.  When I asked and the conversation goes like this…
Me:  Hey bro, you going out? can I use your car since the youngest one is not back yet?
Bro:  I am going out…
Me:  OK, what time you going out?
Bro:  What time you want to use and what time you come back?
Me:  Leave now la, come back shd be around 5 la…
AND THAT’S THE END OF THE CONVERSATION.. NOT A YES OR NO! So, of course I take it as no la..

I called my youngest brother again.. and he told me is coming back aka on the way.. and I continue to wait.. after a good half an hour, still no sign of returning, I take it that the OTW is not going to happen..

My office colleague also called, asking if I will be going to office as I promise that I will bring a cake there, and they have lunch keep for me.  I told my colleague I will be late, as I am calling cab since I got no transport… Guess what I got after someone heard my conversation… “I got say you cannot use my car meh? Why talk so much? I am going out only about 6!”  Frankly speaking, I am shock hearing this.. and being someone so stubborn, I won’t ‘kao tao’ to it.. I mean, if you really mean good, why didn’t you just say yes in the first place.. why keep quiet?

I called cab… I have no other alternative besides the cab as my girl will surely want to tag along seeing me going out.  With the order along, it’s impossible for me to walk down to the main road to hitch a cab.

Called, and the cab company also got no luck.. I practically calling every minute to check if there is any luck.. and finally the luck came.. and I still got to wait for a good 10 minutes.  While getting all ready, the ‘smelt’ my girl not very nice, and I know she has poop-ed!  When I am all ready to get out, I am not in the position to clean for her, so I asked the helper.  And again, my girl start her cry and scream.. and my eldest brother came out of the room screaming ‘very noisy la.. the small one make noise, now the small one”  one whole day only you so noisy… and after taking my girl to the toilet, since we are connecting doors, he opened the door and scream ‘QUIET’ loud and clear to my girl!  Fine.. nothing to fight and argue about.. YES, indeed my girl has made a full day of cry and scream noise which is damn irritating!

I told the cab driver to be fast.. the weather too hot, and I have actually taken the cake out from my chiller about an hour ago.. My concern is the melting chocolate.. I am very worry.. I hope to generate as much ‘cents’ I have into my pocket and I don’t wish to disappoint anyone.

Rush the cab driver.. took the ‘paid’ road.. and finally able to reach my customer about an hour late! Gosh.. everyone is waiting for it, sweat and hunger…

I also got some ‘pau’ ordered from friends, so I must drop by my office to collect it from the seller.. My intention was to walk to office, but having the girl with me, I just have to try hitching for another cab.. ok, this time a good 15 minutes wait, and I got an uncle stopped for me.

When I arrive at my office, my boss has gone.. So, no hope to ‘tumpang’ balik.. I will have to carry the 3 big packs of pau with the girl.  I have to hitch the cab back again.. and it’s almost 5.30pm.. I was again.. worry… keep waving to see if one will stop…

Glad that I got home 5.45pm.. all in all for an hour or so.. and guess I saw 2 cars parked at home.. nvm, I tell myself, I survived… this maybe my 2nd alternatives since now I have tried it… I know it can happen.. maybe the next order, I just have to call the cab earlier so they have time to make the necessary arrangement.
I waited for that somebody to leave the house… only at 6++ and it’s mere a 20 minutes out!!!  Can you now imagine how I feel?  YES, I feel it… I know it.. I got the answer to it!  I regret that I have even earlier try to put good words for him to get an Australian job.. and now, I hope that that won’t happen.. SERIOUSLY!  I am sorry to be bad, but I learned it the hard way.. and this is NOT the FIRST time it happen!  Each and every time I needed a transport, and I asked, the same will happen.. so, please don’t comment that I am sensitive and judgmental.  When once is coincidence, but twice? thrice?  it’s intention!

Since I got home, I have not got the chance to go on my FB page… only mere 30 minutes before I write this post (and this is also another reason why I wrote), I saw my youngest brother commenting on one of my FB post, stating that I am not right to rant in my FB, and I should have asked them earlier and proper.. oh ok fine for my youngest brother, maybe he is too innocent to be blame.. and he is not in the position to know the full story since he is out!  He didn’t even know why I put that kind of status in my FB! and YES, he is more ‘pro’ his brother than me.. coz me now NOBODY mah… who am I?  A sister who is a disgrace being a single mother and no longer contributing much to the family… well, I can understand..

While writing this post, the girl of mine (if you noticed, I no longer use the word princess in this post as I am still very angry over her behavior today) still trying her luck on getting her fix, and I told her to wait, she start her scream and cry again.. this time, she got a few good ‘pat’ from me and she now slept!  I wonder why she inherited the damn father stubborn behavior (the cantonese saying:  Kong Mm Teng aka tell can’t understand) (it’s definitely not me coz even I am stubborn I know how to see ‘situation’.. I won’t throw tantrums when I know I won’t be able to get it.. no point.. waste energy!)  haiz..

Ok, I am done ranting.. it’s always a consolation right.. my customer SMS told me that everyone loves the cake!! which I know it’s not going to be ‘beautiful’ for sure.. haiz.. I really thank her for all the support this far and so much of encouragement!

Cynful Pleasure Bakery

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