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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Need Help!

Ok mummies / daddies out there, how to you handle your crying demanding toddler who screams on top of her lungs just because she wanted something from the shelf of goods in the shopping mall???

I am awake at 3am, as I couldn't bring myself to sleep in peace!!  We had a pretty embarrassing moment in the hypermarket tonight while going on a shopping trip.. We passed by a shoe racks and I wanted to get a pair of shoe of Princess, but very unfortunate, there is no available size.. So, I put it back and push the trolley away and there my nightmare started!!

Princess wailed at her top of lungs wanted the pair of shoes and start to throw her tantrums so loud that the whole hypermarket was searching where did the noise come from!  It make all the workers came running towards her thinking if she was being abused of something!  It's just so lucky it's raining and it's a weekday, therefore not many patrons in that place which usually stuff to beam!  She refused to sit in the shopping trolley and never let me buy any stuff too!  She went on bare-footed just because she wanted that pair of unfit shoes!  She wanted to get down from the trolley but refuse to wear her initial pair of shoes and was crying and crying and crying!

I let her cry and try talking to her nice and soft but she in her mind thinking I am NICE that she could take advantage of the situation and location!!  Later, I try walking ahead and she was chasing behind (of course with higher pitch of cry)!  Then we were there standing in one of the aisle trying to sort out what's going on!  She just refuse to go on and refuse her shoes!!  I was pretty mad but still keeping my cool and negotiating with her and all sorts!  Walking ahead a few times and returned to where the shoes were a few times!  I told Princess that since she did not want her shoes, we just leave it there but again, SHE REFUSE!!  *ok, she just want me to pick her shoe, and wear for her* but NO WAY for me to be bully at this kind of situation!

So, I carried her wailing and twisting body... move swiftly out of the place, LEAVING BEHIND HER SHOES in the aisle.  I don't really care if she cries, and I can afford losing that pair of shoes and let her barefoot!  *the workers in the hypermarket followed and brought back the shoes to me in the car* 

While in the car, Princess was still crying and wanted so much to go back to the place to pick up her shoes (coz she thought I left it there) till I started screaming back at her.  I realised my Princess has the tendency to let me raise my voice to her and she will then knows I am 'ANGER'.. But I tried not to raise my voice each time instead!  how how??

At her age, she knows how to take advantage of situation... if it's only me and her, she will behave well.. but if in a presence of a third party, she can go over the limit!  A not so smart idea coz she has a more hard hearted and stubborn mummy! 

In addition, I find this plain stubborn behaviour very similar to her 'original' genes which needs to be screamed and yelled at before it knocks the idea into the head that people is 'pissed'!  I love to have a stubborn child, but a child who doesn't know how to read 'facial expression' will be having loads more of screaming and smacking in time to come which I hope it don't happen! 

So, anyone with any idea?  I need you to tell me what you do in such a situation for my reference!! HELP!


  1. Easy. Ignore and walk away and end the shopping trip. Don't talk to her until she calms down. Then explain to her that her behaviour isn't acceptable. Repeat each time it happens. She will get the drift. I went through the same thing with all 3. They will learn.

  2. pick up her shoe and walk away... i'm sure she'll run after you. walk to car, go home.. case closed. the more you try to pacify and talk to her.. the more she cries. slowly, she'll understand.

  3. I agree with other mommies. If I were in this situation, I will explain by showing her the shoes is too big. If she still cries, I will just walk away. And normally, she will follow. Then you just don't talk until she stops crying. Distract her to other things when she's not crying.

  4. I know it is kind of tough to stay cool and calm in such situation, I will lose my temper too. The best thing is ignoring the crying kid, walking away if you think it is ok at that time. You have done right for not giving in to her. Give yourself a pat at the shoulder. You stay easy.

  5. i read from circle of mums website, if the kid is doing this u need to stay calm and IGNORE, or they are fussing about something , remove the item from their view so they can stop whining. Let them cool down cos they can never hear you while they are throwing bad tantrum. Done that and still doing it to my kiddos. Good Luck

    P/s: the hardest part is... not from yr kid. Is when she does it in public and everyone is judging and looking at u. U need to overcome that too. Just don't bother!

  6. I find that when my girl is in the midst of a tantrum, there is no point reasoning with her cos she is too agitated to listen. Best to talk to her before the tantrum. if too late, then just use the distract method and talk to her again when she has calmed down.


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