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Friday, November 25, 2011

She is understanding, that make me feel I am worse

I am saying this as this week was a hell worse with more crying, pleading, tug of war-ing, and all in the morning.  Since I change my schedule of work which requires me to get up as early as 6am, Princess follow through.  She will be very super duper cranky when on our way out of the house to her Childcare, and of course to my way of work.

This has cause us a huge huge lots of unhappiness in the morning, as she will get all the scolding and threatening which I have no choice but to do it in order to make her understand and keep quiet.  Each time when we arrived at her childcare, there sure be loads more of tug of war to go around before I can leave.  Princess cling on like a koala bear!!! and refuse to be carried by any of the childminders!!

After 4 days of suffering of her cry, she finally 'listen' and been a good girl since morning till we leave the house.  I even have time to cook my own lunch to work.  (Yea, I got to pack, or my 'increase' salary will all gone to eating lunch).  She did 'ngee ngee ngeh ngeh' a while, but constant reminding her that she is not suppose to make any cry make her stop.

While in the car, she kept all quiet, lying down on the front passenger seat, while holding on to my hand.  She did not say a word, but from her eyes, I know she is kind of sad and sleepy.  She was holding up her emotion so I could actually withdraw from giving her any lecture.

Upon reaching the childcare, she was all worked up again, but still without any cry.  She just wanted me to carry her into the compound.  Gave her a kiss, and there... SHE WAS WAVING AT ME CRYING!!!  Now, I felt like crying myself!!  Even while I was typing this at 11am, I am still unable to forgot the 'pity' look of her waving at me!!  I know she is a big girl that she doesn't want to upset me, but she herself was not happy!!  

Every night after work, I will bring Princess for a walk.. either eating out or just have a stroll in the nearby mall as her 'reward' for being good (even she cry) as I am trying to make up to her for making her going through the agony each morning.  It's a change not just for me, but for her too!  Can you imagine a toddler got up at 6.30am, bath and pack her own bags (she insisted) together with her mummy?  All this because her mummy decided to bring her to the world and suffer together?

It really make me wonder all time.. and I can only keep praying for a better outcome and better way just like before soon to come.

2 comments:

  1. "All this because her mummy decided to bring her to the world and suffer together?"

    Dont think that way Cyn. There's a reason why things happen and I'm sure BIG PLANS are written in the book up there on the day Princess was born. You've done great so far. Keep it up! Hugs.

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  2. i feel so sad reading this, cyn *big hugs* to you....
    and i feel so blessed having my parents around to care for my kids!
    may HE continues to give u the strength to go thru this. love her more...and more each day!!

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