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Monday, June 18, 2012

I hate that.. but do I have a choice?

Sunday was Father's Day!  A day I dislike the most since my dad's departure, and more after the arrival of my Princess!  YES, I don't like this day, and did I just made a mistake attending Sunday School yesterday with Princess?  Oh, I hope I made the right decision, as I have totally forgotten about this day, and all I wanted was for Princess to enjoy her Sunday in church!

Each year Father's Day, I took it to remember my beloved daddy who had spent a good 30 over years with me, and one day in 2005, he just went 'poof' and never come back again.  I didn't manage to bid bye to him, and that has always caused a scar in my heart where now he is placed.  Sunday came, and both myself and Princess prepared to go church, and with all happy mood, it was dampened when the Sunday School teacher went around asking the kids where is the FATHER / DADDY!!  When she asked Princess, I can tell that the girl basically has a blank look, and I signaled to the teacher to skip her instead.  aiyo... why la on earth she make me face this question!!  

NVM, we continue the class, and later proceed to do a Father's Day card also!  *note, Princess school also did a Father's Day gift, and I will post the picture later in another post*

After the class, we wanted to go for a haircut, and also lunch.  After all the jalan-jalan, while in the car, I asked Princess..and our conversation went.. 

Me:  "B, just now teacher asked you where is Daddy, next time you say in my heart, ok?" 
B:  No, my daddy is at home
Me:  Oh.. got ah?
B:  Here.. *pointing to her heart*
Me:  Oh... ok, next time you say you are God's child?
B:  No.. my daddy is here *point to the heart* again
In my head thinking.. OK la, at least she didn't persist.. shall wait for the other years to come and I am sure I got lots more to do in this area..

Yes, the bad side so far that I see being one single mother, is how to explain to the child on the father part!  Don't care la.. main hantam if this question pop again.. I am not going to hide whatever the fact is, but of course I won't want to 'stab' her with the cruel fact too.. how difficult is that you may think!

Well.. I believe GOD has it's plan for me, whether this is just a first 'test' he did on how I reacted, and further to educate the point into me.  I pray that Father GOD will lead me to an 'easier' way in tackle this matter.  Or who know, Princess may have a Father in future?

I have been subscribe to Daily Bread via the e-version, and I read it daily.  This morning, I received this in my email..

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. —Luke 11:2
When Jesus taught us to pray, He began, “Our Father in heaven” (Luke 11:2). It is one of many Scriptures that refers to God as a father. I find it both fascinating and instructive that when God wanted us to know what He is like, He chose to emphasize His fatherhood.
What do we know about God as our Father? According to Jesus’ prayer, we know that our Father in heaven is available and attentive to us. It is also clear that He provides for us. He forgives us and protects us from evil (vv.2-4).
What a wonderful pattern for fathers who aren’t in heaven! Granted, there is only one perfect Father in the universe, but as such He sets the pace for the rest of us less-than-perfect fathers. I discovered early in my ministry that my children were not impressed with books I wrote, titles I had, or places I spoke. They craved my time and attention, the provision for basic needs, a love that patiently forgave, and the creation of a safe place for them to grow and mature. It’s a short but very profound list of fatherly duties.
And what about those who didn’t get a dad who met those needs? Take heart in the fact that if you have been redeemed through Jesus you have a perfect heavenly Father—and He’s the best Father of all. —Joe Stowell
Thank You, God, for being our Father, Shepherd,
Guardian, and Guide. We will never outgrow our need
for Your love and care. We want to seek You
with all our heart that we might know You intimately.
The heavenly Father’s arms never tire of holding His children.


  1. I like the part " in my heart".

  2. Hi Cyn, may God bless u....
    Good people will always have good returns!
    I'm sure you do.

  3. thanks god u can manage it well..

  4. I am so glad to know that you are such a positive person. You stay positive and strong.

  5. I like this post. For there are lots of people like your princess, without a father and they are not hiding but face it.
    Your princess is very lucky to have you as a mother, keep it up, dear!

  6. Its so important to think positive in life!

    Cheers and take care!

  7. princess is growing up and she knows...
    you did a good job for being a father and a mother..
    you deserve a pat on your shoulder....
    happy parent day .....

  8. someday, she will understand and love you even more for what you had done for her. She is a smart girl. Stay strong there...God is always with you.

  9. I have a cousin who is single mum and raise a daughter. She also encounter some problem in the same part but like you, she told her daughter that daddy is not around.

  10. You are a brave, courages & great mommy and that is all Breanna needs. And of course, she needs GOD too. And you have shown her the right path by allowing her to spend time at Sunday School. It will turn out alright, Cynthia.

  11. Just teach her to tell her teachers and friends that "my daddy is not around anymore". I am sure her teachers will not ask all the whys to this very sensitive issue. You're one very brave and strong mum, God bless!

  12. Princess is blessed to have your undivided love, care and attention. That's all that matters to her. I'll also go with the answer "daddy's not around".

  13. When I was 5, my Mom told me that my Dad did not want me and ran away. But she also explained that he was very young then and not ready to be a father. Later, she'd shout at me to go find my father. When I was 21, she called my Dad to say that I'm asking about him. He asked her to tell me that he is dead. All this while, I had no judgement nor any feelings for him. I didn't even care about meeting him but recently, mom forced me to meet him. My only thought was, shit! I'm a photocopy of him!!! No feelings whatsoever.....


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